On the topic of fall beers, the pumpkin beer craze has already began.  Pretty soon everyone is going to be talking about pumpkin beer, all the bars will have on on draft, the leaves will change and the big debate will be which pumpkin beer is the best.

Well I have the answer to that debate:  None of them.  Pumpkin beers are terrible.  I’m willing to go out on a limb and say it.  All pumpkin beers suck.  End of story.

Think about it, what does a pumpkin taste like?  Mildly nutty at best.  What does a pumpkin taste like really?  Butter, cinnamon, clove, brown sugar.  In other words, the “pumpkin” taste is really nothing more than what is added.  So really you’re not drinking a pumpkin beer, you’re drinking a pumpkin pie beer.  A real “pumpkin” beer, I would venture to guess, would mean nothing other than maybe a little added body, maybe a vague nuttiness.  But really, its more like having a tofu beer.  As far as I know, a “pumpkin” beer doesn’t exist.  The only thing you’ll find is pie flavored beer.

No thanks.  Give me a porter, a stout, an oktoberfest, hell, give me even a cider.  I’ll leave the pumpkin beers to the fruit wheat beer crowd.